For so long I have been feeling transplanted or uprooted from the safety of my old life. I have been thankful for the changes, because it has caused me to cling closer to the Lord and have a better relationship with him. Yet I have struggled with a roller coaster of highs and lows. For instance, I have idolized my need to have close knit relationships with other girls, and God has shown me that it is HE who is the provider, the best friend, the all in all. Yet, like the death of a loved one, just when I think I have come out of the pit, there it is: a new thought and my friendship idol staring me in the face. Yet, it's always another area of sin that I am addressing, and then I am face down on my hands and knees praying again.
So often I feel like I am in the dark. Yet the Lord told me something today. He said, "you are not in the dark Chrissy. You are in rich, fertilized soul. Though you may not know where you are going in life right now, you are right where you need to be!! There is nourishment in there that is feeding you, growing you!! But while you are here, don't stop reaching towards the light! (The Lord) Keep persevering you eventually you will have a leaf that will pop out and you will surface. But there will always be roots in the dirt, because you are human and will always need to keep growing. Once you have surfaced, you will then be able to see where you came from!
Oh, thank you Lord!! It is so wonderful to know that even though times can be challenging, it is the LORD that is challenging me. I have known this all along but yet I struggled anyway. The Lord is sharing with me in a language that is near and dear to my heart that He is in control and that there will be fruit at the end of this!
The Lord says: You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:13. He says when we seek him with ALL our heart. The definition of ALL is so much deeper than we realize! Yet, somehow the Lord knows what areas we are holding back on and pulls it out of us. He also says: Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me. Revelation 3:20
Thank you Lord for your promise. It is wonderful that you are ALWAYS there, and that you are in control. Thank you for being that friend that I can count on, the security, the foundation of our lives.